The holidays aren鈥檛 always joyful for everyone. If someone you know is in recovery for substance use disorder (SUD), this time of year can be stressful and triggering, putting them at a higher risk of relapse. Trying to understand a loved one who is recovering from SUD can make a world of difference鈥攅specially if you offer support in a non-judgmental way.
Understand Their Feelings
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), for deaths related to drug and alcohol misuse. Even though the holidays may feel festive and happy for you, a person in recovery may not feel the same. It鈥檚 important to keep an open mind about how they may be feeling, and approach them with empathy.
People in recovery may feel more stressed during the holidays because of:
- Increased exposure to alcohol
- Less structure or interrupted daily routines
- Expectations surrounding social engagements and family gatherings
鈥淲hen we think about the holidays, we think about 鈥榯he most wonderful time of the year,鈥 and that in and of itself can create high expectations and stress, especially for someone in recovery who might be having a difficult time,鈥 says Lucy Izard, LCSW, a social worker at Huntsman Mental Health Institute. 鈥淥ne of the biggest precipitators to cravings is stress, so it鈥檚 important to understand that they might be experiencing more thoughts of use than they typically would.鈥
Support Your Loved One
Knowing the right things to do or say can be challenging, as you don鈥檛 want to unintentionally cause harm.
When making your holiday plans, keep the following things in mind:
- Open communication: Try not to assume how they feel. Instead, ask them an open-ended question about upcoming events, such as 鈥淗ow are you feeling about the holidays?鈥 and let them convey those feelings to you.
- Respect boundaries: If they think it鈥檚 in their best interest to skip certain events, let them. Tell them that you support their decision and don鈥檛 pressure them to show up.
- Acknowledge their efforts: Tell them you are proud of them for maintaining sobriety and you will always support them.
- Take care of yourself: with self-care helps you maintain regulation.
鈥淭aking care of yourself is one of the most supportive things you can do, because you can offer co-regulation. Entering the holidays as calm and grounded as you can has a supportive effect for someone in recovery who might be under stress too.鈥
Create an Inclusive Holiday Environment
If your loved one does decide they want to participate in holiday events, talk with them about their triggers so you can ensure they feel welcomed and respected at your gathering.
Some ways you can do that include:
- Offer a variety of non-alcoholic options: Choosing whether to have a totally alcohol-free event is ultimately up to you, but having a variety of sodas or sparking waters available may help your loved one not feel alienated.
- Plan alcohol-free activities: Set out games to play or put on a holiday movie or sports game. You could even plan an unconventional gathering by doing an activity like hiking. Providing fun options can shift the focus away from alcohol.
- Invite a support person: If your loved one has a sober friend or sponsor from a support group, tell them that person is welcome to attend your gathering. Having someone there who knows what they may be going through can be helpful if they start to feel stressed.
- Have an exit strategy: Reassure your loved one that if they feel like they need to leave early or take a break, they are welcome to do so and will not be judged.
Make a Backup Plan
Unfortunately, relapses do happen, and it鈥檚 important for family members to have their own plan in the event of a relapse, such as visiting a of people in recovery, calling a , and taking care of your own mental health.
鈥淯ltimately, their recovery is up to them,鈥 Izard says. 鈥淚t is their responsibility. We tell family members about the four C鈥檚: you didn鈥檛 cause it, you can鈥檛 control it, you can鈥檛 cure it, but you can contribute to their successful recovery.鈥
You can enjoy the holidays with your loved one in recovery. Knowing the best ways to support yourself and them can make a happy holiday season a reality.